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Captain's Announcements

Fargo everyone,

I don't think that's an actual greeting but it is one of my favourite films/TV serials. It seems like it could be real since much of today's language is made up, but I guess that's another story.

Now there are a couple of interests which I share with our twice removed past captain, David Morris (268). One is a love of butterflies, the other, a deep interest in the natural laws of science. I am pretty sure we all get excited by at times by Avogadro's Law, Coulomb's Law and of course von Neumann Paradox, who doesn't? However, this naturally leads to our own derivations and my most recent thoughts have been the clear and obvious correlation between good weather and good golf scores. Having played a few rounds recently in indifferent conditions, I was totally convinced that warmer, dry weather would bring about a direct improvement in my scores. This did not happen and I am still mulling over where the equation could have gone wrong. Something which did occur to me however, was a thought about our course. The hard work by our ground staff, with the added bonus of proper rain has resulted in the course being delivered to us in near perfect condition. Well done to Graham and his team, directed and guided by our resident Greens Chair, the polymath that is Mark Watts. Together, you gentlemen have provided us with super fairways, approaches and magnificent greens. However, I have now realised that better playing conditions are obviously inversely proportional to scoring since having lost the leveller of wind, rain and mud it is clear that I can't deal with superior conditions now on offer. Damn.

Having lost your attention for a second, please refocus because the next bits are important. Saturday 29 June is Captain's day and I hope as many of you as possible will be playing. The pop-up Bombadier Bus replacement will be on hand after your round, in tandem with refreshments around the course and at the hut. The evening will commence with drinks and canapés followed by the gala dinner, followed by music downstairs of the DJ variety. I haven't checked numbers yet but please remember that we are imposing a limit of 70 for this event.

The next bit worries me somewhat more. I foolishly agreed with our young and fit pro that entering the Macmillan longest day challenge would be a good idea. This will consist of us playing 4 rounds of golf on Friday 28 June, yes, the day before Captain's Day, a double whammy. However, we are committed now and we have 4 teams of challengers who will help drive us through the day. Your job is simple, please help by donating to the charity and please look out for information on how to do this and to boost your contribution with Gift Aid. I am quite concerned that I will not make it through all four rounds, my only solace is that some of our ladies successfully completed this challenge a few years ago and I am clinging to that encouragement to get me through. Assuming the best and we complete the challenge, I will be limping up the 18th late in the day and then into the bar. Please be there to give us moral support and have a beer together, or in Danny's case, make that a full fat Coke.

Sunday will see the resumption of the Captain Pro Challenge with the "Youngsters" giving us the run around, namely Sam Winward and Joe Williams, let's see what they are made of, full report on proceedings next week.

We are probably now overdue for some bullet points, so here we go;

  • Captain's Day Saturday 29 June – Satisfaction Guaranteed but now DJ Spooney Mikey Coughlan has denied all responsibilities but don't let that put you off.
  • Kate Garner will be at the club tonight, I can't be there so please let me know how you enjoyed it.
  • Mixed Golf this Sunday 22 June against Enfield, there may be some places left so please contact Janet or Mark
  • Next Social Mixed golf Friday 5 July, ideal number 24 players so book in now or see Big G.
  • Johnny White and Co. present Mid Summer Madness on Thursday 27 June – Sign Up Now
  • Seniors Open at the club 15 August – Again please sign up now to get some numbers on the board.
  • Breakfast Club and Afternoon Tea now available at your club every day.
  • I played in the HSBC Golf Day at the club on Thursday and met David Gakhar for the first time, all very good other than David has been a member for at least 7 years – although a member of another prestigious club David has promised to join us more often in future – nice one David.
  • I almost forgot to mention John Hayes' favourite series, the Fibonacci Sequence, sorry John.

Bingo, that's it for now.




Proof Read by Max Plank

Ladies' Captain's Announcements
Ladies' Captain's Announcements


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Friday, 05 June 2020